Personal

In the final episode of Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans, the usually quiet Mika rallies the remnants of Tekkadan with a firmness and quiet confidence so rarely seen, but so keenly felt.

Orga said once, that he wanted to laugh his head off with everyone when we got there. Orga isn’t with us anymore. Yet… His words are still alive within me. His orders still hold true for me. So I will follow them with all I’ve got. Anybody who gets in my way, in the way of Orga’s orders… I will crush every one of them with everything I’ve got. No matter who it is. Got it? Okay.

Then, he ends on this great note.

Then live till you die and carry out his orders.

  • Mikazuki Augus, Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans, Episode 49

Then live till you die 

Aside
Journal, Personal

Thoughts on being loved

I give thanks that I am loved.

It might be presumptuous of me, but I think I’m fortunate. Lucky. Blessed.

Whatever force you believe in, random sparks of life, or meeting of the fates, it’s really quite incomprehensible. 

How could this be? For if I loathe myself so much, that someone else could find love in their hearts. The generosity of it all. That we could be so selfless to another being, when we are also so selfishly absorbed in our own machinations, that another could be considered.

Thus, what other response is there to give to the faith placed in you, except to give the very best of yourself in return?

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Journal

Writing Less

Doing more.

Doing more?

I don’t really know what prompted my retreat from the sphere of public publishing. Some of it seemed to stem from how ephemeral the exercise was. Write a few words, share it on Facebook, get a few likes, maybe some comments, maybe none at all. Then something else comes along. Something shinier, more brazen, deflects your attention and it almost seems like the words you had just typed were already inconsequential the moment they ended up onscreen.

And yet, there was also a sense of freedom, that I didn’t have to log every little nuance down. I became, and am now more interested in living than in archiving. Something’s changed in me these past six months, and I feel more present than ever. I’m leading a quieter life, but strangely I don’t miss the old life. I do get scared that I’m not meeting my friends as much, or growing my network as much, but I figure those things will come in due time.

I’m happy, I’m sad, but I’m confident that I’m allowed to live life on my own terms versus the expectation of what people expect from the projected personalities on the Internet.

Perhaps I was looking for that thread of innocence amidst the clump of threads that I had complicated my life with all those years ago. Who am I? Do I matter? And sometimes the answer is “no” as much as it is “yes”. But the beautiful thing is that regardless of the answer at whatever point the answer chooses to manifest itself as, I know that I am both, and I come to this altar of publishing, and offer my sacrifice of words, that the God or gods would take them, and have their way with them. I will be judged, condemned and redeemed all at once. I will live and die all at once.

Writing less. Doing more? More. And less.

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Culture

My head in my hand
Must be the wrong station
Separation just a ******
Disintegrating all relation
Say, say it’s going to change soon

Side Note: Alan Abrahams has been in motion his whole life – This first line from Portable aka Bodycode’s bio always intrigues me. The idea of motion is very apparent in the producer’s music, often flitting between rhythm and a trance. It dwells in me like a whirlpool and I cannot help but be sucked in.

Music of the Day: Portable – Say It’s Going To Change

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Culture

Freedom came my way one day
And I started out of town
All of a sudden I see sheriff John Brown
Aiming to shoot me down
So I shot, I shot him down, I say
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy

Side Note: One thing I’ve always loved about Eric Clapton has always been the quality of his backing band. This might seem like an odd fascination, but while Clapton is an amazing guitarist, he’s also very non-descript, and the musicianship of his band always seems to meld seamlessly; holding back when he does; launches him into orbit while he takes them to explore the vastness of the galaxy. This live version of the Bob Marley classic is a perfect example of that imagery.

Music of the Day: Eric Clapton – I Shot The Sheriff (Live at Crossroads 2010)

Aside
Culture

Can’t stop the Gods from engineering
Feel no need for any interfering
Your image in the dictionary
This life is more than ordinary
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these
Coming from a space
To teach you of the pliedes
Can’t stop the spirits when they need you
This life is more than just a read thru

  • Red Hot Chili Peppers

Side Note: One word. Raw. This incarnation of the Red Hot Chili Peppers will always be the best incarnation to me. Frusciante’s guitar riff carries the entire song and shows just how crucial he is to the Peppers. Frankly, everything about this song is so simple, yet, it’s probably impossible to emulate. Technically, there isn’t much going on, but the secret’s in the performance, both recorded and live. Everything about this arrange just works. From the vocal interplay between Kiedis, Frusciante and Flea, to the stoic drumming of Smith. And how about that scorching guitar solo with a nice switch-up to Flea’s bass to hold the riff and groove while Frusciante rips it a new one?

Music of the Day: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Can’t Stop

Aside
Culture

Since that day when you’d gone
Just had to carry on
I get thru’ day but late at night
Made love to my pillow but it didn’t feel right

Side Note: I don’t particularly identify with the lyrics now, but that groove and musicianship is real. When they start jamming, the trio of Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland show exactly why they are a force to be reckoned with. I love this live version because it captures both the energy and fragility of their performance.

Music of the Day: The Police – The Bed’s Too Big Without You

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