Can life really be simpler? Or rather, is contentment truly attainable in this day and age?
I ask myself this question a lot, because as I have equal number of people who do understand my desire to switch to teaching as opposed to continuing in the media industry (note: as of writing this, I am still waiting as to whether I will be granted an interview with the Ministry of Education), I probably have an equal number who express surprise when I tell them of my decision.
One of the biggest changes, is probably the glitz and glamour perpetuated by the media. The cars, the events, the fashion, the celebrities. If anything, I suppose that’s where I’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin, the need for things to be sexy. I try to be more practical in the way I choose to live my life, and with the constant trends and wants, you never really attain that. There’s always something that sells news, and I’m not comfortable with that. I know it’s paradoxical when I prefer things to work silently when I perform in a band, but I think working in public relations has showed me how much news is manufactured, or basically most things in the media are manufactured. The mechanics involved break down the illusion of the lifestyle.
I’m not trying to bad-mouth anything, I still have tremendous respect for my peers, who are making a living for themselves. We all have different callings in life, I suppose mine isn’t to live the life I left behind. The thing is that in the long run, I’ll still be making music, I’ll still be blogging, and I’ll probably still be excited about the same things, perpetuated by the media or not. I still like and dislike the media, but if there’s a difference in leaving the industry, is that the media isn’t my life anymore. It’s probably going to be something else.
That’s the problem with me, when it comes to pursuing a craft or profession, I tend to take on the role of a method actor, where I don’t do so well at compartmentalisng my life, separating personal from professional. I tend to integrate facets of both to create a unique product, that somehow becomes the life i live. It makes me give more than I should, and also receive less than expected. It’s not meant to be transactional, I don’t particularly excel at that, hence I’m not a shrewed businessman.
All in all, I’m also looking for personal satisfaction, and hence I’m willing to give up certain material things, at a shot at more intangible contentment. Perhaps I’m getting rid of peripheral distractions, and looking more into intrinsic factors.. will I live to regret anything? I hope not, afterall, life is too short for regrets, and maybe I don’t need much to be happy.