“Scatach, scratch, scratch your life away.”
It has been far too long since I’ve typed in here. I’ve just been so busy with work and life events that I haven’t found the time to load the familiar blogging interface that has allowed me to chronicle the happenings, ins and outs of my thoughts and feelings. No big loss really, I think I’ve lost an audience, but still it brings comfort when I journal a portion of my ongoing journey.
The main thing I would like to get off my chest, is how I’m thinking of finishing my contract with the Ministry of Education as a teacher, and move on to something else. It’s been a grand journey, and I’ve accomplished most of the things I’d set out for myself to do in that, I could work in an organisation, I could be hardworking, and that I could contribute back to society. One thing I hadn’t planned on though, was that I don’t exactly do a very good job managing a classroom. I’m not a taskmaster in that I don’t think I set enough rules in place to create a conducive environment for teaching. I don’t believe my lessons are boring or that I don’t know what I’m teaching, but I’m just not the right fit for an organisation that requires me to have a particular management style. I suppose I could change, but in this regard, I won’t, not when there are still options and I know much more clearly, what I want for myself in this life. To which I would tell my current employers, don’t take it personally, it’s just business.
I’ve had a ball of a time, and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else. I’m really glad I took the step and spent time working the trenches, but I believe it’s time to stop pleasing other people (societal expectations and would-be futures) and start to do something for myself, and perhaps, finally be myself with the confidence that I’ve been lacking.
So that’s a major update. Other things that I’ve been busy with are the usual things that have always kept me busy. Music, writing, being a friend, being a son and also, being a paying customer to the Pigeonhole, a nice art-space cafe that my friends Ave & Rayner have set up. Check out the news and future happenings at this link. -> here.
I’ve really been taken by the place. It really helps that I’m friends with the owners, and that I can perhaps almost live vicariously through their plunge as cafe proprietors. But I’ve had so much fun meeting new people, friends, taking part in PowerPoint KTVs and Open Mic sessions. It’s been a wonderful respite to my otherwise confined working environment of mass produced education for the public. It’s a great feeling to express yourself creatively, and that’s what I crave for, and what I want to be around in my next job. Copywriting? Working in the arts or something music related? Yes, these are all questions that are easier to answer now that I have the blessing of retrospect.
The big lesson I’m taking away from the past four months, is that somethings, I just have to take a plunge, feet first into the chill waters and hope to God that I can swim against the current. Pray that He gives us the strength to swim back to shore and not be swept away by the undertow. But take a first step. Don’t hold back.