Sister: Wah! Brian! You’re so fair!

Dad: Fair and fat!

Mom: No lah.. he’s lost some weight.

Dad: OK. Plump.

Me: (T__T)

I fully understand, that having a family that loves is truly a blessing, and that there are pockets of abuse, of any kind that go on in various homes, but I’m just thankful mine isn’t one of them, though it breaks my heart that as human beings, we really hurt the ones closest to us.

We can’t choose our families, we’re born into it, and we all have our idiosyncrasies as individuals. I always thought that I could reshape certain things about my family members that irked me, but I think that when you realise the small and big things that family will do for each other, you reshape your own perspective, to accommodate the uniqueness of each family individual.

For example, I’ve always thought my mother a bit of a nagger, but her intention isn’t out of hurt or spite, but in love. And I’ve had to learn patience to see certain things from her perspective. That’s just how she shows it, and when somebody’s intention is pure, you don’t really fault them, though you could if you wanted to. But that’s the beauty of it, by opening a channel of communication and not being irked at first instinct, we talk about what rubs us the wrong way, and two people can take positive steps to understanding people better.

People talk about how you can’t help with who you fall in love with, and I wonder, if by default we’re just supposed to love our families, regardless of shortcomings.

I don’t know, but love unconditional, even in the face of personal self doubt, failures, roadblocks, pain, anguish.. is not simply a ‘happy’ feeling. Sometimes, love hurts, but in the end, if the intent is to love, and better someone else, I hope it finds a way to pull through. Love is not a four-letter word, or simply an emotion.. it’s life, thought and deed. Slowly I’m learning, what it means to love in this day and age.