One of my favourite quotes, because it so easily captures just how I feel about so many things. Captain America is a supersoldier, he was a soldier in World War 2 who was given superhuman strength & agility, and is one of the most brilliant military tacticians. He has 1940′s values, and believes in good and evil. Things are very black and white to him.
But in this story, he gets a second lease of life in the twenty first century, and the black and white between good and evil has turned to grey. To make matters worse, earth is on the verge of an alien invasion that seeks to destroy all human life as we know it. For once, the things that make Captain America, one of the greatest superheros the good guys has seen, is at a loss.
He is completely impotent.
His mind, strength, agility and values do not come into play, when you’re trying to fight off a planet-sized threat. And that is the conundrum I face tonight.
I come home, read the news about Yong Vui Kong, who is on death row, yet his family is fighting every second of the day, to appeal for clemency from the president. They are not giving up despite the odds, overwhelmingly stacked against them. I read about the control our current government tries to impose on us, I read of a lot of disgruntled complaints about the world that we live in.
And I’ve stood up for a few causes, I’ve tried to be involved and make it my fight too. But the thorn in my side, is that we can never truly be the people who always stand up for justice, or what’s right. Sometimes we also just want to bury our faces in the sand, and pretend that the world’s great and all. I just got my paycheck, and I just blew $40 on Grand Theft Auto 4. I’m thinking of playing it as soon as it gets downloaded. I’m thinking of all the marketing I want to do for my band(s), and even how I’m going to reorganise my life in preparation for my new job in September.
It’s a constant struggle to tow the line, between what’s right for you, and what’s right for society. There are personal and public battles to be fought, and sometimes, I just don’t see the distinction anymore. It taxes me out emotionally more than anything else. It drains me to care. And yes, sometimes, I just feel so impotent.
So weak and powerless, that there are actually so little things I can change, with my two hands, mind, heart and soul. There is a limit, to how much of a fuck I can give. Sometimes I’m near the limit, sometimes I have too much to give.
I don’t have all the answers, but one thing’s for sure, something ain’t right with this world, and when you put your finger on it, it really is an evil too big to hit.