Feeling a tad buggered because I am not concentrating on the things I need to be doing, like organising and finalising all the details for this Thursday’s Open Mic at the Pigeonhole, or doing follow ups with the May participants. I just keep getting distracted by Beck, because I’m listening to his Record Club albums, and then my mind drifts to more creative pursuits, rather than administrative ones.
Am I so incapable of work? Probably not, but I think I just need to let it out so that I can address these things and finish the things that I need doing, or rather the things that I’m responsible for.
It’s easy to be responsible for things by just needing to show up (ie. bass playing and being at a particular place on time as per the schedule), but when it takes more than just your attendance, when it requires your very active participation, I think I have some problems dealing with that if I keep thinking about something else.
It does make you ask questions such as, “Does that mean I’m only capable of doing things that I like?” Which is completely ridiculous because we’re not allowed that sort of luxury. I keeping telling myself that I need to be a good steward of my time, and I try to schedule things to the letter, but I realise that it only address my physical being to honour these schedules, and it doesn’t address my mental state. I think when I’m in these physical locations, I need to take my mental psyche along with me.
I think this is also the problem with working from home. Because at least to me, I’m familiar with home being a place of rest, and I don’t really treat it as a place of work, but maybe I’d better start thinking that way if I’m to be of any use working from home.