Journal

Friday 03 July 2015, 10:30am - The weather situation wasn’t ideal today. We took a boat ride out, also about 5 minutes away and did a seat back roll for entry once again. The sea was very choppy, which made getting in and out of the boat rather challenging. Dove to a depth of 19.1 meters for this dive, and pretty much the same ecology as everywhere else so far.

Being near-weightless and being able to breathe underwater still fascinate me, and I still enjoy looking into the darkness of the never-ending body of water.

Dive Log 003 – Cebu, Philippines: Marine Station

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Journal

Thursday, 02 July 2015, 02:00pm - Our first dive from a boat! It was about a five minute ride from KonTiki Dive Resort, and once we’d finned up, we took turns entering the water. Entry was a seated back roll. After that, we did a few more drills, dove to a depth of about 12 meters and did a fun dive around the reef. The reef didn’t look very different from the others, saw some catfish and clown fish, and there were also a lot of sea urchins on the sea bed.

Dive Log 002 – Cebu, Philippines: Agus Point

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Journal

Wednesday, 01 July 2015, 01:55pm - This is it, my first official open water dive as an adult. I’d dived before when I was fifteen, but that was about seventeen years ago. Before this open water session, Mohan and I received about a day’s worth of knowledge building with regards to diving, and had one confined water dive at a depth of 5m.

We entered the waters through the dive point, and had to fin-up whilst in the water. This proved extremely difficult as the surface water was somewhat choppy, and the tide kept pulling us into the sea. Eventually we did it, and I was rather fatigued before I even started the dive. We swam out into the open waters a bit more before starting our five-point descent.

Once underwater, we swam to the edge of the reef, and that’s where we saw the reef drop off, and when I would get my biggest rush from diving so far. It wasn’t just the strange, alien, things you see, but the absolute nothingness that arrests you as you confront nothing but the vastness of the ocean’s depth, and you’re confronted by your own smallness.

At a depth of 12 meters, it was beautifully calm, and as the feelings of weightlessness take over, as well as the attention to breathing deep, long breaths, you body remembers a calm before the stresses of adult life. For a brief moment, you’re very much a part of the cosmos, as you are an alien to your own ocean backyard.

And with that, our dive concluded, and we surfaced to swim back to shore. But what a rush those thirty minutes underwater were.

Dive Log 001 – Cebu, Philippines: KonTiki House Reef

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Culture

Who Is…HTRK (via Wondering Sound)

There’s a scene in Fire Walk with Me with a woman walking into a room full of men and there’s a sense of doom in the atmosphere. I remember Sean mentioning that he wanted his bass lines to sound like what she would hear while walking into that room.

I definitely see pictures with my music too.

And within all the flat-line atmosphere there’s a lot of emotion. To me it feels like if you let the floodgates open it could pour emotion all over you, but by keeping it tight there’s a kind of tension there.

And it’s exactly that tension that pulls me asunder, and why I love HTRK so, so much.

We’re always getting called dark, but darkness is not what we’re thinking about. We don’t want to take that away from people, but darkness is kind of boring to us. We’re after a rich truth, not some stylistic stance.

You really sense that there’s more to HTRK than what’s on the surface. In fact, the music is just scratching the surface. Reacting to HTRK’s music, that’s where the magic is. A lot of uncomfortable emotions and thoughts surface whenever I listen to their music, it’s almost like their music whispers and goads you into releasing your inner psyche.

In the wake of Sean’s death, we became kind of obsessed by Sean’s interests, like all the books he listed on MySpace and Fassbinder films and comic books and graphic novels. There was a lot of mystery to Sean that we were trying to unravel while making the album.

Work (Work, Work), still stands as the most fascinating HTRK piece of work for me. It’s complex in its mood and treatment, it too has helped me grieve, either through something vicarious, or by being able to both numb or provide exegesis all at the same time.

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Culture

It is for me the eventual truth
Of that look of the lioness to her man across the Nile
It is that look of the lioness to her man across the Nile

I want to feel my heart break if it must break in your jaws

I want you to lick my blood off your paws

You can’t get here fast enough
You can’t get here fast enough
You can’t get here fast enough

You can’t get here fast enough
You can’t get here fast enough
You can’t get here fast enough

I will swim to you, I will swim to you
I will swim to you, I will swim to you

Whether you save me
Whether you savage me

Want my last look to be the moon in your eyes
Want my heart to break if it must break in your jaws
Want you to lick my blood off your paws

It is for me the eventual truth
It is that look of the lioness to her man across the Nile
And you can’t get here fast enough
I will swim to you

Songs: Ohia – Lioness (Live)

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Culture

It seems that the older inhabitors never got out of you
The phantom broods were wronged in body
And in a state they will make their soon escape
By building a new inheiritence
S’likely more not to be
Than sin and death and vipers to fill our beds
And as for liberty she will work or she will suffer
I am dense with the light of women
and I insist I’m not confused
I will not be going

Molina died on March 16, 2013, in Indianapolis as a result of alcohol abuse-related organ failure. He was 39.

Songs: Ohia – Blue Jay (Sin and Death)

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Journal

Last night, I accidentally dropped a glass of water on the kitchen floor.

I immediately knelt down to clear the large shards of glass that were on the floor, those were easy enough. I had some trouble with the smaller shards, and it was near impossible for just fingers to clear the “grains” of glass that were left behind. Picking up a wet cloth, I tried to wipe it away, or at least get it on the cloth so that I could wring it dry.

I was determined to clean this up right, because someone else might step on a shard and injure themselves.

And that’s when it hit me. That’s just like our hearts after they’ve been broken.

Broken Glass and Hearts

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